Kid me not
by CoCo's Gone LOco
Summary: After a trip on the crimescene to investigate a new case is interrupted, Tim, Ziva, and Director Shepperd are turned into little kids by a sadistic unsub who kidnapps marine's children and has taken a liking to one of their own.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey people fanfic addict please no harshe comments .**

** ME: HEY POePLE how you doing? well i'm doing awesome still trying to own NCIS AND NOW I DOOOOOO!**

** lawyer:(whispering in a hush tone ) i told you i couldn't sign the deal**

** ME: (muttering) ohhh now you tell me**

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"This guy is probably 30-35, male, physically weak, and a pedophile. His victims are all children under the age of 13,children of marines ,," Timothy Mcgee said, reading off the partially completed profile on his laptop, steadying it as the paper balls Tony was throwing were threatened to knock it off his lap.

"What condition were the victims found in?" Gibbs asked.

"Most of the victims found had evidence of sexual assault, but there were two- one boy and one girl- who didn't have any signs of sexual assault. All six victims suffered immense physical abuse," Dinozzo said.

"So what makes you think they're all connected if they aren't all alike?" Director Shepperd who was helping them on this case asked.

"They were all found with a charm - the same one for all of them - in the shape of a rose tucked in their pocket," Tim said, taking a sip of his water. "Do any of you feel sort of…weird?"

"Yeah." Ziva said, pressing her hand to her forehead. "Now that you mention it, I do feel kind of dizzy, and everything's so far away…"

Gibbs tried to stand up to join the group, but he stumbled, nearly falling onto the director before he caught himself on the seat in front of him.

"What's happening to us?" Jenny asked, closing her eyes to ward off the dizziness.

"I think…someone…might have…drugged…drugged us…" Tim mumbled sleepily, resting his head on Ziva's's shoulder and closing his eyes. The rest of the team fought to stay awake, but whatever was in their system overtook their efforts and they soon slipped into unconsciousness.

"Ow…my head hurts," Tim mumbled, sitting up and trying to bring his hands up to rub the sleep out of his eyes. "Wha-" he started as he stared down at his hands, which were duct taped to the armrests. His ankles were taped to the seat, and as he looked around he saw the others in the same position. Ziva and Tony stirred, and they slowly opened their eyes and took in their new position.

"What the hell?" Tony muttered, trying to wrench his arms out of the tape.

As soon as Gibbs woke up, a man dressed in all black and wearing a ski mask stepped into their view.

"Who the hell are you?" Tony asked angrily.

"I think you should already know," the man said, "considering you've been talking about me and my work for the past half hour."

"Wait- you killed those kids?" Gibbs asked, stopping struggling for the moment. "Why are you here? And…how?"

"Yes, that was me," he said, walking over to Tim and grasping his chin in his hand, running his free hand down his cheek. Mcgee grimaced and tried to pull away. "As for your second question, I got on the same way you did. Through the door. You know, for Special agents, none of you are overly observant."

"Get away from him!" Tony yelled. The man ignored him, instead reaching into his pocket and pulling out a bottle of pills.

"W-what a-are those?" Tim stammered.

"Pills," he said simply.

"Obviously," Morgan snorted.

"What are they for?" Ziva asked, her curiosity getting the best of her.

"They'll turn you into a random age - a kid - and you won't turn back until you can find me and get the cure." He laughed at the shocked expression on Ziva's face, and he popped a couple pills out of the container.

"Open up," he ordered Tim, grabbing his jaw and forcing it open wide enough for him to slip the pill inside and force him to swallow it. "And don't even bother looking for me after I leave, I wont even be on the plane anymore." Tim started coughing violently, trying to get the pill out of him, and he passed out on the chair.

"McGee!" Jenny and Gibbs yelled, straining against their bonds.

"What did you do to him?" Gibbs yelled.

"Exactly what I said I was going to," the man said, shrugging his shoulders and turning to Ziva and Jenny. He shoved the pills into both of their mouths, ignoring their muffled protests.

"So long, NCIS," the man said, cutting the ropes off Gibbs's arms and grabbing a parachute that none of them had noticed lying in the corner, jumping out of the open hatch on the jet.

After they got over the shock of the unsub being on the jet with them, Tony glanced at Tim, Ziva, and Jenny his mouth dropping open in shock.

"W-what?" Tim stammered. "What is it? Why are you looking at us like that? And why am I talking like this?"

"Look down, pretty boy," Tony said softly. Reid complied, and he was shocked to see the body of a toddler.

"Why do I look like a four year old?" Ziva whimpered, her lower lip quivering and tears threatening to spill out of her eyes. Her blonde hair fell into her face and she brushed it back, revealing piercing green eyes,Porcelain skin, and freckles that had disappeared with age just has her blond hair and blue eyes had turned into curly black hair and brown eyes.

"I think it was the pill the unsub gave you guys," Gibbs said.

"So we're four now?" Tim squeaked. "And we're stuck like this? I can't even talk normally! How am I supo-supos-can I work?"

"No, you actually look like you're about three, OOOH Ziva you were a blond as a child " Tony said, staring at Tim and Ziva and trying not to laugh at the horrified expression on the toddlers face.

"Yes Tony I was a blond now shut up remember i still have all my knives," Ziva Hissed

"How old do I look?" Jenny asked. "Please please please tell me I'm older than them!"

Gibbs smirked. "You look about six…" he said thoughtfully.

"Six! Are you kidding? I can't be six, that is not happening!" Jenny exclaimed. "I can't work this case if I'm six!"

"Calm down, Jen, we'll figure something out. We need to figure out why the unsub made them these ages," Gibbs said. "There's nothing special that happened to them then, and unless he just wanted to make them vulnerable…"

"Well, the unsub does have an interest in little kids, and Ziva, the director, and I are all in his age range now," McGee said, frowning at the way he was talking. "With the victims being so little, it makes it easier for him to control and take advantage of them."

"So the unsub is definitely a pedophile, but one who wants his victims to be intelligent and harder to break down?" Tony asked.

"I think it's safe to say that," Tim said.

"Were they for sure tortured?" Ziva asked. Gibbs hid his grin as the young agent grimaced at her sloppy speech.

"Yeah, there was evidence found on their bodies but theres no telling how much mental torture they were subjected to," Gibbs said, still staring at his three young agents sitting across from him. "How are we going to turn you guys back? And what are we going to do with you until we do?"

"We'll have to track the unsub down and force him to turn them back, and until then…well I guess they can stay in the hotel and work from there…," Tony said, frowning.

"Alone? You can't leave three babies alone in a hotel room!" Gibbs exclaimed

"We not babies," Tim huffed indignantly. "I'm a grown man, and I'm coming with you."

"Yeah, I agree with the computer kid . I'm not staying in the hotel room while you two get to do everything! I'm helping, and that's that!" Jenny exclaimed, straightening up in her seat.

"No. You're not, and that's final," GIbbs said. "It's too dangerous for you! You know the type of victims he's looking for - and you're all right in that group now!"

"We'll stay out of the action!" Ziva protested. "I wanna come! I hate being left out!"

"No means no," Gibbs said firmly. "You're not coming. Everything you do will be from the hotel room, or with us supervising you if you leave, and we can drive Abby down to watch you guys."

"We don't need a babysitter," Tim and Ziva protested.

"Um, actually you do," Tony pointed out stifling a laugh . "You're all under six, you can't stay in the hotel alone, so drop it!"

"Fine," Jenny huffed. "Then what are we doing about clothes? I don't know about you guys, but I don't want to wear work clothes that are 10 sizes too big on me for the rest of this trip."

"Abby will take you shopping when we get there," Gibbs said.

"Gibbs…" Tony said quietly. "They know five agents are coming, what are we going to say when two of us and three toddlers show up?"

"We'll figure that out later," Gibbs said, trying to typing commands into his laptop until Abby's face popped up.

"Your friendly neighborhood scientist at your service!" she exclaimed.

"Abby, we need your help, are you alone?" Gibbs asked.

"Uh, yeah. What's wrong? Is everyone ok?" she asked, her cheerful expression turning to one of concern.

"Sort of," Tim said, poking his head into Abby's view.

"Who's that?" she squealed. "He's absolutely adorable!"

"It's me…Timmy," he said as a blush crept over his face.

"Oh my gosh! Timmy, honey, what happened to you, baby doll?"

"The unsub was on the plane with us and he put drugs in our drinks and he forced me and Ziva and Jenny to take pills that turned us into little kids," Tim explained.

"Oh my poor babies!" Abby exclaimed. "I'll be there an hour after you arrive, I'm leaving right now! And I want the full story when I get there, so don't think you're getting lucky by not having to explain it now!" Their connection broke, and an unnatural silence descended over the room. Not sure of what to do, the team sat back in their seats, reviewing the case information and files.

A few minutes later, a repetitive kicking noise drew Gibbs's attention to the boy sitting across from him.

"Jen? What are you doing?" he asked the young agent.

"I'm bored!" she announced, kicking the bottom of the seat as she swung her legs.

"Great, they have the attention span of a toddler too," Tony groaned. "Where's Ziva ? She's been quiet…"

"She's over there on the couch, I think she's asleep," Gibbs said quietly.

"Good for her. Pretty ladie, why don't you go join her?" Tony suggested.

"But I'm not tired!" she protested as Gibbs picked her up and carried her over to the couch, laying him next to the sleeping Ziva.

"No," she pouted, crossing his arms and sitting up.

"Sleep," Tony ordered.

"No! Tony I'm not tired!And I'm Your boss," Jenny said annoyed

"If you don't sleep, or at least close you eyes and try, then you'll be on the next plane back to DC…alone." McGee's eyes widened in fear at the thought of having to fly alone.

"You wouldn't! You know how many kids get kidnapped from public places when they are alone? If you do that, then you might never see me again!" he protested.

"Better close your eyes then," Tony said, smirking at the look on the kid's face.

"But you said the director had to go to sleep not me," Said a clearly tired Timmy

"Well, the director isn't complaining is she,so she can just relax" Gibbs said irritated

Gibbs sighed as and Tim's reluctantly closed their eyes, and minutes later, fell asleep. Tony resisted the urge to laugh as he saw the toddlers thumb creep up to their mouths.

"Thank God," Tony exclaimed quietly, flopping back down beside Gibbs. "You gonna give us any trouble?" he asked Jenny. She shook her head, grabbing her iPod and putting her headphones in.

"This is going to be a hard couple weeks," Tony groaned, leaning back in his chair and rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand.

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**PLEASE COMMENT**


	2. Chapter 2

**Me:Well i got 4 reviews for my first chapter,SO IT"S GOOD! and i decided to keep writing!**

**Me:ZIVA do the disclaimer  
**

**Ziva:Why did you have to make me a child i was a blond Now Tony won't stop calling me Blondie!  
**

**Ziva: Fake smile Real pain Does Not Own NCIS  
**

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Oh my God! You three are even cuter in person!" Abby exclaimed as she stepped into the room and saw the three kids. Tim and Ziva were still half asleep; having been woken up from their naps only moments earlier.

"OMG Ziva you never told me you were a BLOND!"Abby practically screamed

"Time to go guys!" Tony announced, leaning down to pick up Ziva, who looked dangerously close to falling asleep again. He settled her on his hip and the tiny agent rested her head against his chest. "Hey, Blondie, you can sleep in the car, but you have to wake up now, 'kay?"

"Okay,but Tony I'm not a baby i can walk,And don't call me Blondie" Ziva mumbled sleepily, sticking his thumb back in her mouth.

"She is just too cute!" Abby squealed. Gibbsn smirked. Ziva was in for an interesting case if Abby kept this up.

"Can you take Tim?" he asked, gesturing to the other toddler, who was swaying on his feet in the effort to stay awake.

"I don't wanna leave," Tim mumbled. "I wanna sleep."

"You can sleep later, Timmy," Abby cooed. "We have to go check into the hotel, but you can sleep on the car ride there!"

Tim glared at her, mimicking Ziva and sticking his thumb in his mouth, but she allowed the women to scoop him up, grabbing her go- bag and settling her on her hip before she stepped off the jet into the warm Florida sunshine. The Atlantic ocean was just visible from where they stood, and Ziva gasped when she saw it, all thoughts of how tired she was disappearing.

"Can we go to the beach? Please please please!" she begged, straining her neck for a better view of the water.

"Maybe later, sweetie!" Tony said, laughing. "If we have time after the case, then I promise we'll go to the beach."

"Yay!" Ziva squealed. Tony made his way to the car they had rented with Abby and Gibbs following, each of them carrying one of the tiny agents.

"I am not riding in a car seat," Tim protested when she saw what was sitting in the backseat of the van.

"You are. You're too little in this body to not be in it, it's to dangerous!"

"Everything's to dangerous," Ziva muttered, reluctantly climbing into the car and letting Tony strap her in.

"I'm not a baby like they are, I don't have to sit in a car seat!" Jenny yelled.

"Jenny, honey, this isn't a car seat, it's just a booster seat! It's not that much different from sitting on the normal seat, you're just a little higher and you have your own personal seat you can carry wherever you want!" Abby explained. Jenny glared at her and crossed her arms over her chest.

"No."

"Get in the car, Jen," Gibbs ordered, picking her tiny body up, swinging her into the car and strapping her in with one fluid motion.

He climbed in the front seat next to Gibbs, and Abby got in the back with the kids.

"Where to?" Tony asked Abby.

"700 South Florida Avenue. We're staying at the Tampa Marriott, and it should take about an hour to get there," she responded.

"An hour? Can I sleep then?" Tim asked.

"Sure, honey," Abby said, laughing. "I'll wake you up once we get to the hotel and we can get some real work done and try to figure out who the unsub is so we can turn you guys back!"

"That better happen fast," Jenny muttered.

"Hey, at least you aren't four! You're at least a little older!" Ziva protested.

"Yeah, but it still sucks," Jenny said sulkily. Tony looked into the back seat, trying to see why Tim was so quiet. He saw the toddler passed out in his car seat with his thumb securely back in his mouth.

"Looks like Tim's already out," Tony remarked to Gibbs quietly.

"I bet he is, poor kids had a rough day," he replied.

"Are we there yet?" Ziva and Jenny asked happily about an hour later as soon as they got irritated. Gibbs snorted.

"Typical kid question. Obviously not, considering we're still driving on the highway," Tony joked, resisting the urge to laugh when the little Girls glared at him.

"It was just a simple question!" They protested. "We just want to know when we're going to be there!"

"We're getting off the highway at this coming exit, and the hotels about five minutes away after that. Happy?"

"Yes. Do you have any food?" the toddlers asked hopefully.

"Sorry, Girls, you're going to have to wait until we get to the hotel. We can stop and pick up some food when we go clothes shopping," Abby said.

"Oh. I forgot about the clothes shopping…" Tim sighed. "Do I have too?"

"Yes,"Abby said. "And I'll pick out a ton of cute outfits for you, so you don't have to worry about a thing!"

"Can I get sparkly clothes?" Jenny asked, perking up at the thought of picking out a whole new wardrobe. Little kid clothes were just so cute. "And those shoes that light up when I walk!"

"We'll see," Gibbs said, pulling into the drive of the hotel.

"We're here!" Ziva shouted, pulling at the straps on her car seat. "How do you get these undone?"

Tony chuckled. "You're not supposed to be able to do it yourself, BLondie. That's the whole point of it!"

"Well its stupid," Ziva announced. "Can you please help me out?"

"Sure, kiddo," Gibbs said, climbing out of the drivers seat and starting to unbuckle to straps. "That better?"

"Yeah, thanks!" Ziva exclaimed, jumping down from the car and stopping short at the sight of the hotel.

"It looks like a castle!" Ziva and Jenny exclaimed, staring up at the building in awe.

"That's because it used to be one!" Abby exclaimed. "I knew you guys would like it - even in your adult form - that's why I picked it!"

"It's awesome!" Ziva breathed as she climbed out of the car. "I'm going to be a princess in my very own castle!"

Tony grinned as the girl stared up at their hotel with wide eyes.

"Can we go in?" she asked excitedly.

"Yes we can," Gibbs said, grinning at the toddlers excitement. "And then after we check in you three are going clothes shopping with Abby."

"Can I get a princess dress?" Ziva asked, turning her puppy dog eyes to Abby.

"If we can find one, Cutie," Abby said, laughing. She picked up the girl and settled her on her hip, carrying her into the hotel.

"Check in for David, Sheperd, McGee -" Jenny started to announce to the women behind the desk before Gibbs cut her off.

"Actually we'd just like to check in for Gibbs, Shepperd, and Tony," Gibbs said.

"Ok," the women said, typing something into her computer and starting to swipe their room keys.

"How many keys would you like per room?" she asked.

"Um…probably three each - no make that four," Gibbs said.

"Ok, you're in room 534, 535, and 536, the elevator is right through those double doors on your right. Have a nice day!"

"You too," Gibbs said distractedly, taking the keys from her outstretched hand and motioning for the rest of the team to follow him.

"Are we gonna be sleeping in a princess bed?" Ziva asked, jumping up and down beside Tony as they waited for the elevator.

"Not unless you're planning on making it yourself," Tony said, smirking.

"Can I do it?" Jenny asked, bouncing next to her.

"You know, for kids who were exhausted 20 minutes ago, you have a lot of energy," Tony remarked.

"That's how kids are," Gibbs reminded him.

"I'm not a kid!" Jenny protested.

"Right, I forgot," Tony said sarcastically. "You're an adult in a kids body. So a kid."

"I'm an adult!" Tim yelled.

"No you're not! And as long as you're in this body, I'm in charge of you, so get used to it!" Tony yelled back.

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Oh, please tell me you're really not going to start this," Jenny said, staring at them with her arms crossed.

"Oh look, Tony, the six year old is more mature than you are," Gibbs said, smirking.

"I'm not six!" Jenny hollered, stomping her foot.

"Yeah, I take that back," Gibbs amended.

"All of you, shut up!" Gibbs yelled, grabbing Tim away from Tony and stepped in between the two bickering agents. "If we're going to get through this, we can't fight. Tim - we know you're not a kid, but you're too little to be able to do things on your own, and you're going to have to let Tony help you. Tony - if he doesn't want to be called a kid, don't call him a kid. It's as simple as that. Abby - you're rooming with Jenny and Ziva, Tony and Tim - you're rooming together. Drop Tim off in Abby's room after you two are unpacked and she'll take them shopping while we get started on this case. Got it?"

The team nodded, going their separate ways to unpack and get settled into the castle-like hotel.

"Tony?" Tim said softly once they were in the room.

"Yeah?" he asked, not turning around from him suitcase.

"I'm sorry I yelled. are you mad at me?" he asked. Morgan turned around to see the toddler's big hazel eyes filled with tears that were threatening to spill over his eyes.

"No, of course I'm not," he quickly assured him. "It's just been a long day."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. Now let's get you unpacked," Tony reassured the toddler.

"Tony?" Tim said a couple minutes later.

"Yeah, bud?"

"I had an accident," the toddler whispered mournfully, blinking back tears again.

"It's okay, buddy. It's happened to the best of us. And you know, you're in a new body and it's confusing for you, so it's alright. We'll just take a bath before you go shopping, kay?" Tony said, leaning down to pick the crying toddler up from the couch. He carried him to the bathroom and set him down next to the tub, starting to peel off his clothes.

"No!" Tim shouted.

"What? Do you want to stay in dirty clothes?"

"I don't want you in here when I'm naked!" the toddler protested, a blush creeping over his cheeks.

"Fine. I'll be right outside the door. Call me when you're ready, but don't get in the tub without my help. It's bigger than you right now and you might hurt yourself."

"No. I'm not undressing with you in here, and I'm not taking a bath with you in the room! I can do it myself!"

"You're too little to do it by yourself, and I'm not letting you sit in your own pee, kid, so when I come back in five minutes you better be undressed." He left the room and shut the door behind him, chuckling at the muffled curses he could hear from inside the bathroom.

When he couldn't hear Tim cursing anymore, Tony opened the door to the bathroom; only to find the toddler sitting on the floor, still fully clothed.

"Seriously?" he said, not sure whether to laugh or scream. "Are we really going to play this game?"

"I can't get the buttons undone," Tim tearfully admitted, angrily swiping at the tears that were rolling down his face.

Forcing himself not to say the joking comments that were swirling through his mind, the man knelt down next to the crying toddler.

"It's okay bud, let me get those for you. This body's gonna take some getting used to for you and me both, so you're just gonna have to bear with me on this one. I've never had kids and neither have you, so we're both rookies at this." Tony talked through all of getting the kid undressed, and Tim didn't even protest when he lifted him up and placed him in the tub, testing the water to make sure it wasn't too hot first.

"That okay?" Tony asked, squirting a little bit of shampoo on his hand and gently rubbing it through the young agents light brown locks. He made sure to keep his steady flow of chatter up to keep it from being really awkward for the both of them, but even so it wasn't over quick enough.

He lifted the kid out of the tub and quickly toweled him off, dressing him in a pair of his sweats and a t-shirt, wrapping duct tape around the too big clothes so they would stay up.

"Let's go meet Abby and get you some real clothes," Tony suggested, stepping back to admire his makeshift clothes.

"Do I really have to wear this?" Tim asked, staring down at the baggy t-shirt that could have fit another couple people in with him.

"Only until you can find something else to wear." Tony grinned as Abby gasped when she opened the door to her room and saw Tim's wet hair and baggy clothes.

"Oh, my poor baby! What did he do to you?" she asked, glaring at Tony.

"He had an accident and I had to give him a bath," Tony whispered in Abby's ear.

"Aw, Timmy, it was an accident, it's ok! But what about the clothes? Could you find nothing better than duct tape to hold them up?"

"Well, what are the girls wearing?"Tony asked defensively.

"I pinned some of their own clothes tighter so they wouldn't slip down. They're both just wearing skirts and a blouse."

"Abby, that's not what little kids wear!"

"Calm down,Tony. It's temporary! Besides, you don't see kids wearing duct taped sweats, do you?"

"Hey, it was the best I could do. I know about as much about clothes as I do about taking care of kids…meaning absolutely nothing."

"That's for sure," Jenny snorted, stepping out of the room and into the hallway. "Nice outfit," she said, smirking at Tim.

Tony chuckled as Tim stuck his tongue out at her. "It's tempary," he informed her.

"Sorry, I don't know what 'tempary' means," she teased.

"Tempapary- tempopary- oh you know what I mean," Tim huffed.

"Come on kids," Abby called. "Let's go get some real clothes!"

"Princess dress?" Ziva asked hopefully. Garcia smiled smirked he never thought he see a day his ninja wanted a princess dress.

"I told you, Zee, if we can find one, you can get one."

"Yay!" Ziva exclaimed.

"Do I really have to go?" Tim asked. "Can't I just stay with Tony and work on the case? I think it would be more ben-benif-good if I stayed here and helped with the case because then we can get out of these stupid bodies and get back to normal."

"Nope, baby boy, you're coming with me!" Abby exclaimed, taking him out of Tony's arms and carrying him away, motioning for the girls to follow her.

**A/N: I'll try to post everyday, or at least every other, but no promises there. Any reviews would be much appreciated! Their shopping trip will be the next chapter!**


	3. AN

**HEEEy poeple this is not a chapter but just so you know i will be changing my name my new name is CoCo's Gone Loco.  
**

**I'll Write soon i promise.  
**


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